So today I had a very impromptu convo with Miss Chapman. I’ve come to find that she’s a very lovely young lady. One whose company, opinion, and overall friendship I have come to enjoy. But what I want to touch on is happiness in a relationship. True Happiness in a Relationship. Wondering what kind of science is a relationship? Chemistry, physics, earth, or biology. Its not easy figuring it all out. Then everyone list a number of components that go into making that relationship good, but noone ever talks about what in those parts it takes to make it work. So here’s how I would break it down. Agree or disagree, add to it or just read it, its my attempt at adding to this long unsolved theory of love and happiness in a relationship.
Love - a very indescrible feeling, I mean it varies from relationship to relationship. You will have those who say its that they complete my setences, were so in sync (I think this is the bullshit). But I do think a part of love is growing or maturing into two people who understand the likes and differences you each have. Accepting the flaws, shortcomings, and mistakes the other will make, but realizing in the grand scheme of it all that there is something far greater than those common flaws that you both have. The shortcomings and mistakes you both will make that truly makes your relationship, your love, your bond better and stronger.
Communication - they always say that having good communication helps in a relationship. But what does it really mean, being able to hold a good conversation? That definitely has to be included, but I feel it has to go beyond that but definitely has to start there. Understanding the grounds or the foundation in which your relationship will stand on is crucial. Think about it if that is not built how long you think your relationship is going to stand, pretty short especially once the differences begin to arise and you both are standing at opposing ends and not sporting each other. Like to cards leaning in on each other then standing up straight. Speak on the things that you don’t like and the things you love. Begin to respect those things the ones that they do and don’t like. Appreciate them because they help make your relationship different from the others. Continued silence or not speaking about what makes you happy does foster or build a relationship. It doesn’t not allow for either side to grow acustom or “change” for the other.
Trust - this is one of those elements you always hear about. Without the relationship is pointless or is just won’t work. And for the most part I agree. I can’t remember who said it, but it was said paraphrasing of course that “the only way to know if you can trust someone is to trust them.” This statement is so true, to many people both men & women, I believe more women than men spend more time not trusting than trusting but that’s another topic. You just gotta trust and let it go from there. Trust that this person will have your back through thick and thin. That they will be your confidant and shoulder to cry on when needed. That they will be in your corner to support and uplift. But only way that this trust can ever be created is throught communication. Your speech doesn’t have to be best, or the way you say it doesn’t have to be the most spectacular or expensive presentation as long as you get the point across. The trust will develop as long the communication continues.
Sex - not to long ago I was reading Miss Ebony’s page and she was asking would you rather have great sex and a bad relationship or a good relationship and bad sex. Well sex today is seen as a make or break in a relationship. If the sex is on and poppin one person isn’t either faithful or going to stay for long. But a relationship built just one sex won’t and doesn’t last long. I can say that speaking from experience. Sex is not a real relationship supportor, it does help in the balancing act but can it hold up 80 percent of a relationship. Negative. In sex’s defense, neither than any other one thing support 80 percent of a relationship, but I’m sure you get the point. But as far as sex goes in the relationship, it should be something you both work on to make great for the both of you. What worked for the last may not work for the next. But in making it better you need communication and trust. You don’t need love to have good sex, but to have the best sex, love is definitely in there.
Summary it all up this love and happiness thing is not an exact science. It will never be, but to achieve it know that it takes work. In order to be truly happy in a relationship you and your partner must find some equal balance between love, communication, trust, and sex. Those I guess you can say are the four pillars you can build your relationship upon. Allow it to stand on them and then add the others as time continues. I will just throw this couple of caveats in.
Don’t be afraid to say I love you or express your love first. And if your partner doesn’t reciprocate it back to you that doesn’t mean they don’t care or are less interested in the relationship. We all come to that love conclusion at different times.
Speak your mind, be respectful of the others feelings. But speak your mind, if you want to go out say it. If you want to have sex or don’t like how the sex is going say it.
Remember we all make mistakes that you are not mother or father superior. Be understanding and give it time, allow for things to work themselves out. Cheating is not a relationship ender. It can be a tremendous huddle that must be overcome. But its very possible and if you both are commitment you can achieve it.
Be open to try new and different things. Sex as said before for some people can make or break a relationship this shouldn’t be there case. But neither should being close minded and not working to make the sex better. It about feelings and reactions, the touch of his hands as they run down the spine of your back. Or the softness of her lips over you body.
Do what’s needed to find your love and happiness in your relationship.
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