I Had Sex, Now I'm Burning
I had sex that one time, with no condom. Now it burns when I pee, I have bumps on me, and could be walking around with HIV.
I vividly remember the first time I went to go get tested, a friend and I went together. We were actually being forced by our current girlfriends and honestly its was good we went together, because we might have actually punked out if we didn't. I remember everything, signing in, sitting down in the waiting area, contemplating our fates and trying to make jokes to ease our fears. I will not lie I was scared as shit. It had been years since I had lost my virginity and I knew there were several different young ladies out there that I had engaged in unprotected sex with. So on the verge of "shitting bricks" was truly an understatement.
"So who wants to go first," we look around, like damn its time, what to do? I say I'll go first. I get up and walk in this room with the test administrator, even more scared. This was like "Scared Straight for Sex" believe I was sending up every prayer and Hail Mary I could. We sit, he explains the process, I sign some papers, and he takes the swab needed. I take a deep breathe not knowing what I'm going to do if I'm positive for HIV. I'm like no more sex, he ask would you tell anyone I immediately said NO! I asked trying to show some level of composure, so what do most people do when they find out their positive. He explains a few different things some immediately start medication, some deny they have it, others just wait until they get sick to accept and take the meds (if I'm positive this would be me). He ask if I would be suicidal if I were positive, though that would definitely be a game changer I wouldn't have killed myself. Had explained the process and indicators before we started but I was way to nervous to follow along and understand. So staring at the test trying to determine what my results might be, then there's a beep. Nerves start going every which way and I'm worried that my entire life is about to be changed, that was just the signal that ten minutes had passed. So for the next ten minutes me and this guy sat there talking about, his back in the day movements and the things he used to do. Me I'm sitting there thinking about the chicks I had been with that I didn't use a condom with or the condom broke and didn't care. Still there hoping and hoping that this test comes back negative. Well long and behold the results came in and I was NEGATIVE!!. Hella excited I shook his hand, he game me some parting advice, the paperwork, and I walked back to the waiting room with calm in my spirit.
Going to meet my friend in the waiting room I was relaxed, relieved, at peace. I knew he was just as scared as I had been about 20 mins before, I tried to reassure him but I knew that the only thing that would help was a negative on that test. Another friend of ours had joined us at Health Services, so I sat there with them while we waited. Honestly I was scared for my friend, because I was just in there and knew how scary it was for me. He also came back NEGATIVE, which was also a relief for him as well.
For any of my friends or anyone on campus with me that could remember how much for like the next month I was excited about the results. I walked around with the results in my pocket for the next month. Not scared, worried about, or hesitating to show anyone who would listen.
The concept expressed in the "Late Nights Early Mornings" video, is very tranquil but very important. All it takes is that one night. One thing I didn't mention earlier while in that room waiting for those results to come back, was a promise I made. That regardless of the results that going forward, I would only have sex if I had a condom or in a committed relationship where I knew we were both straight (clean). There were a few times where it was hard to keep that promise, but I have. The way the video plays out isn't an exaggeration, it can happen just like that. You meet that guy/girl, you two go out have a good time, go back to the crib and end up having sex, unprotected. Next thing you know, you could have a number of different diseases. Then what...
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO WRAP IT UP. UNLESS YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE ITS JUST THE TWO OF YOU OR MARRIED, USED PROTECTION. THAT 20 MINS IN THAT ROOM FELT MORE LIKE AN HOUR. AN EXPERIENCE THAT WAS SCARY, UNNERVING, AND UNNECESSARY; I COULD HAVE AVOIDED IT BY USING A CONDOM EACH TIME. SO USE CONDOMS, ONES THAT FIT, ONES THAT ARE FOR YOU. BUT USE THEM.
"So who wants to go first," we look around, like damn its time, what to do? I say I'll go first. I get up and walk in this room with the test administrator, even more scared. This was like "Scared Straight for Sex" believe I was sending up every prayer and Hail Mary I could. We sit, he explains the process, I sign some papers, and he takes the swab needed. I take a deep breathe not knowing what I'm going to do if I'm positive for HIV. I'm like no more sex, he ask would you tell anyone I immediately said NO! I asked trying to show some level of composure, so what do most people do when they find out their positive. He explains a few different things some immediately start medication, some deny they have it, others just wait until they get sick to accept and take the meds (if I'm positive this would be me). He ask if I would be suicidal if I were positive, though that would definitely be a game changer I wouldn't have killed myself. Had explained the process and indicators before we started but I was way to nervous to follow along and understand. So staring at the test trying to determine what my results might be, then there's a beep. Nerves start going every which way and I'm worried that my entire life is about to be changed, that was just the signal that ten minutes had passed. So for the next ten minutes me and this guy sat there talking about, his back in the day movements and the things he used to do. Me I'm sitting there thinking about the chicks I had been with that I didn't use a condom with or the condom broke and didn't care. Still there hoping and hoping that this test comes back negative. Well long and behold the results came in and I was NEGATIVE!!. Hella excited I shook his hand, he game me some parting advice, the paperwork, and I walked back to the waiting room with calm in my spirit.
Going to meet my friend in the waiting room I was relaxed, relieved, at peace. I knew he was just as scared as I had been about 20 mins before, I tried to reassure him but I knew that the only thing that would help was a negative on that test. Another friend of ours had joined us at Health Services, so I sat there with them while we waited. Honestly I was scared for my friend, because I was just in there and knew how scary it was for me. He also came back NEGATIVE, which was also a relief for him as well.
For any of my friends or anyone on campus with me that could remember how much for like the next month I was excited about the results. I walked around with the results in my pocket for the next month. Not scared, worried about, or hesitating to show anyone who would listen.
The concept expressed in the "Late Nights Early Mornings" video, is very tranquil but very important. All it takes is that one night. One thing I didn't mention earlier while in that room waiting for those results to come back, was a promise I made. That regardless of the results that going forward, I would only have sex if I had a condom or in a committed relationship where I knew we were both straight (clean). There were a few times where it was hard to keep that promise, but I have. The way the video plays out isn't an exaggeration, it can happen just like that. You meet that guy/girl, you two go out have a good time, go back to the crib and end up having sex, unprotected. Next thing you know, you could have a number of different diseases. Then what...
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO WRAP IT UP. UNLESS YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE ITS JUST THE TWO OF YOU OR MARRIED, USED PROTECTION. THAT 20 MINS IN THAT ROOM FELT MORE LIKE AN HOUR. AN EXPERIENCE THAT WAS SCARY, UNNERVING, AND UNNECESSARY; I COULD HAVE AVOIDED IT BY USING A CONDOM EACH TIME. SO USE CONDOMS, ONES THAT FIT, ONES THAT ARE FOR YOU. BUT USE THEM.
The concept of this video is beautiful. I enjoy the song even more because of the video associated with it. I must admit I that I was not even aware of the concept until the second time I watched the video. Sitting there I was damn, this video is on point. Immediately thought I needed to do a piece on this video and the message its putting forth.
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